cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
