you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
