soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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