it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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