porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
