what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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