your thong is hanging out like whoa
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
