im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
