And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
