So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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