Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
