Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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