Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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