I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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