Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
