so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
