I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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