I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
