one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
