I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
