This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
