Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my sisters under your porch take her home
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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