K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
