She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
