Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
someone threw a dead crab at me
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
