I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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