Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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