And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You ate ashes out of my bong
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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