Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
