if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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