I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
