omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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