I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
foreskin is a definite game changer
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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