Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
