I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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