He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
