You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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