what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
