Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
nutella sex= disaster
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
