I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
