I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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