I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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