she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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