I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
