Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
