Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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