u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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