He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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