i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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