I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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