I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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