Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Drake has all the answers
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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